A Map or Something

I was thinking that it would be really nice if I had a preview of my life from here on out. I don't have to know everything just a little taste. Maybe even a map or something. It could be a really unclear map with just the major intersections. I read Proverbs 3:5 which tell me to trust in the Lord with all of my heart. Isaiah 58:11 says that the Lord will guide me. I am starting to think that is my map. I am supposed to be on a plane right now flying back to Seattle. I don't know when I will be back. There are so many things that are popping into my head that I shouldn't be worried about. The fact that I don't want to be stuck in Spring, Tx, for the rest of my life. I really love Seattle and will miss it sooo much. The bigger thing is that I trust that God is going to get my family through this. He will guide me and direct me in which way I should go. He will tell me when it is time to leave or if it is time to leave. Right now I can't imagine leaving my family and being away from them at this time. When is a good time though? I have so many regrets that for the last 4 and 1/2 months I have been so far away from my brother. I hadn't seen him in forever. Did I make the wrong decision going to Seattle? Was I supposed to be spending time with my family? In my heart I know that I did the right thing, and I am so thankful that I was able to come home for the holidays and spend a week with him before he died. Now that he is gone I just wish I had more time.

Maybe this is a good opportunity to think about the word trust. What does it mean to trust? To fully trust letting go of the control you have. How do you deal with the fact that we can't control the circumstances in our lives? How do you give up control? What is the relationship between our need to be in control and trust and can we ever fully allow ouselves to trust God? Just a little something to think about. God doesn't tell us to only trust when something goes wrong, but all the time. To me that is a little harder to do.